Copyright (C) 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008-2014 William F. Fitzgerald, Ph.D.   


Sex and Relationships

Welcome to  ASK THE SEX DOC

Do you think that some of your friends might enjoy this site? is a pro bono (link to definition) educational web site.  Sexual ignorance is rampant, sexual myths and misconceptions (no pun intended) are universal, and anxiety results from misinformation or the lack of information.  Experienced sex therapists are continuously disappointed by the failure of Western civilization to provide adequate sex education and we are sad to have so many questions to start with "Thank you for this wonderful service.  There is no one I can ask about this."  Part of sex therapy is educational, and many questions about sexuality can simply be answered on the internet.

You are invited to read answers to the most common questions (linked below) and answers to unique questions (in "Question of the Week" by page number, below).  In addition, you are welcome to submit a question.

William F. Fitzgerald, Ph.D., Webmaster

"Pro Bono" is a contraction of "pro bono publico",  and means "for the good of the public."  The practical use of the term "pro bono" is to state that no fee is charged.  (link back to the top of the above paragraph)

What are the problems for which sex therapy is the solution?  The most common are Sexual Desire Discrepancy, Sexual Boredom, and Low Sexual Desire for both men and women.  The most common male sexual problems are premature ejaculation and erection dysfunction.  Many women have Sexual Aversion Disorder because of sexual trauma at some time in their lives, but common problems are also dyspareunia (pain during intercourse), vaginismus (a spastic clenching of the opening to the vagina, which causes pain and prevents penetration), arousal disorders, orgasm difficulties, and a variety of psychogenic (caused by the mind as opposed to caused by a medical condition) pain disorders.  Remember:  You are not the only one, and there is help.



Sex and Sex Therapy Answers to CURRENT Questions of the Week (#37)

Sex and Sex Therapy Answers to Prior Questions of the Week (#36)

Links to other prior pages

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HIV & HERPES INFO -- If you are at the slightest risk PLEASE READ THIS (includes an excellent explanation of why anal sex is so risky)

Sex therapy and sexuality raise questions in most people. These topics are fascinating to a majority of the population. This site features answers to the most interesting questions submitted -- by YOU. In addition, you are encouraged to link to Answers to Questions by category, and to other pages and links, below.


Answers to Questions about ...

Oral Sex

The BIGGEST and most extensive site dealing with Oral Sex I have ever seen!  (come on back, now, you hear?)

Link to the survey of what men and women like during oral sex.  Answer the survey to see the results with your "votes" added. Very interesting and educational!

Link to a woman's description of how to give oral sex to a man (in my opinion this fails to emphasize individual differences, but it's better than nothing)

Link to a woman's description of how to give oral sex to a woman (in my opinion this fails to emphasize individual differences  but it's better than nothing)

The Risk of Pregnancy from Oral Sex alone

Stuff for FEMALES to think about when deciding to first engage in sexual intercourse

Female ORGASM matters::  can't during intercourse; can't at all; weird and nasty things that happen to some women, the G-spot (and how to find it) and Female Ejaculation

How to strengthen the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle:  The Kegel Exercise.  A well-toned PC muscle allows a woman to squeeze tighter when something is in her vagina,  and/or have better control if she urinates a few drops when she has an orgasm or sneezes.  It is also mysteriously associated with a guy being able to last longer, and it results in more profound orgasms for both genders.  Men and women should tone their PC muscle daily only if they want great sexual response!

Anal Sex

Anal Sex #2

Three-way sex ("Menage a trois")

Premature Ejaculation (when a man "comes" too quickly)

Answers to questions about Erection Dysfunction ("Impotence")

Everyone:  Everything you wanted to know about the gay experience during one man's lifetime.  Men: Curious about your sexual orientation?  Anyone wanting an intimate and honest presentation of what it is like growing up, and being a mature gay man will enjoy this book.  It is a "must read" for anyone related to a gay man (parents, wife, siblings, children) and everyone who works with gay men.

Emergency Contraception

Everything you ever wanted to know about PENIS SIZE! (not the sexdoc's research)

Penis Enlargement (answered here):  There is NO SAFE RELIABLE WAY to increase the length or width of a penis.  There are many SCAMS out there and some sound soooooo convincing, but they will hurt your wallet, your pride, and possibly your penis.  About a half dozen of the penis enlargement companies have asked me to endorse their products and I always reply "I'd LOVE to endorse a product that works.  Send me enough product to do an initial field trial on ten men and if it works I'd really be delighted to have my name on your product (or representing you on national television)."  Funny, though.  Not one has replied.  Any employee of such a company that wants to take me up on the field trials -- you know how to contact me!

When do I need a sex therapist?

When should I go to therapy?

What can I expect in and from Sex Therapy?

Another perspective:  Link to the Masters and Johnson Institute

How do I find a good sex therapist?

Link to -- directory of therapists by specialty and location.  IF YOU ARE A THERAPIST Check this out!

Link to ALL where Dr. Fitzgerald has been accepted in  Medical/Obstetrics and Gynecology/General Women's Health, and Love/Relations/sex/How to deal with sex problems (NOTE:  So any one expert does not get overwhelmed with questions, they rotate whose name shows up at any one time, so if you're looking for Dr. Fitzgerald's name, hit reload/refresh until it comes up)

Link to Body Island Expert Health and Fitness Professionals where Dr. Fitzgerald is listed under Psychological/Sex Therapy


Who is the Sex Doc?

How to arrange a Telephone Consultation with the Sexdoc.  Link here, OR:

A few places where the Sex Doc has been quoted

Ask the Sex Doc a question

Who goes to sex therapy? (are you curious?)

Some of the topics the Sex Doc deals with (TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE)

How to become a Sex Therapist (in the Sexdoc's opinion, of course)

Books the Sex Doc thinks are interesting and valuable

Comments about sending e-mail to the Sexdoc (Suggestions and what I do not respond to)

Philosophy of this Web Site

Your comments (click on "Sign Guestbook" on the hit counter) about the web site

Answers to Questions from Beth Tyler's Enemates (advanced material)

Link to the absolutely most comprehensive catalog of links to ADULT EVERYTHING!

Questions about FEMALE ANATOMY and lots of other things are answered on

Link to my "Other Links" section at the bottom of this page

The next time one of your friends asks for advice about sex or relationships, please tell him or her about this Web site.

ASK THE SEX DOC is provided pro bono publico (for the public good; at no charge).   

William F. Fitzgerald, Ph.D., a specialist in marital and sexual therapy, started helping patients with sexual dysfunction in 1965. He earned his Ph.D. at the University of Chicago and has taught classes on human sexuality, been quoted in magazines, appeared on national and local television and local, national, and international radio, and has testified as an expert witness in legal proceedings regarding sexual crimes. In addition, he served as "The Sex Doctor" on the Men's Health Daily website (link provided below) while that site quoted experts (Oct. '96 - June '97). He is currently retired from private practice and consults with individuals, couples, and health care professionals. 





If you would like to arrange a telephone consultation with Dr. Fitzgerald, please e-mail your request to .

Please note: Advice is not therapy. If you need a therapist, please examine all of the resources available to you on this web page to start your search. If, however, you have a question about whether to seek therapy or whether help is available for certain problems, or other questions, you may consult with Dr. Fitzgerald for a fee.  To start the process, e-mail Dr. Fitzgerald.




If you would like to identify a sex therapist in your area, please click on "How to find a sex therapist".



The Sex Doc quoted in publications and elsewhere:

Link to a recent article on male strippers titled "Strip Maul" in which the sexdoc is quoted article about online sex therapy

Click here to link to the April, 2000 article "Surfing for Sex Therapy"

March, 2000  "Sex, Lies, and Love" Benning's Health + Fitness Journal

Click here to link to the March, 2000 article titled "What's Love Got to Do With It?

Click here to link to the August, 1999 article on Erotica for Women in which Dr. Fitzgerald is quoted

Click here to link to the August, 1999 article in News about the sex life of techies in Silicon Valley

August, 1999 Extraordinary Togetherness:  A Woman's Guide to Love, Sex, and Intimacy (chapter on Turn Ons and Turn Offs) Rodale Press

February, 1999 The Doctors Book of Home Remedies for Men (2 chapters) Rodale Press

January, 1999 GLAMOUR Magazine

December 2, 1998 KEST AM Radio, San Francisco on a program titled "The Best of the Best" (in health care)

December, 1998 COSMOPOLITAN Magazine in an article titled: "Me Man, You Woman"

October, 1998 COSMOPOLITAN Magazine in the article "The Case for Quickies"

September 23, 1998 On national television as the sex expert on the LEEZA show (NBC)

July, 1998 Tele-Conference on Sexual Addictions (Link to transcript)

July 9-15, 1998 METRO (Silicon Valley Weekly Newspaper) "Sexual Healing" (Link to the Article)

May, 1998 New Woman (magazine) "Psyched for Sex" ((April 13, 1998 Note: WOW! I just received my "contributor's issue" of the magazine and the writer must have liked what I had to say; I'm quoted throughout the article [pps. 98-101 and 132]!))

April, 1998 Cosmopolitan

August-September 1997 BRIDES Magazine

May, 1997 Cosmopolitan, page 30 (as an Advisor to the Editor in Chief)

March, 1997 Cosmopolitan, pages 200-225

1995-1996 Lots of issues of Marie Claire Magazine (and a few Cosmo's)

November-December 1995 BRIDES Magazine: "Honesty in the Bedroom"





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The Home Page (this one) is designed to be fast loading and with links to what interests you. You are encouraged to "branch out" to topics of interest, and to then come back to the home page for another link. With each linked page small, your time won't be wasted waiting for the page to load (that's why there are so few graphics, as well). Enjoy!


Other Links


The editors of (MAIN SEXUALITY PAGE LINK)  have included some of their questions answered by Dr. Fitzgerald (LINK TO THEIR Q/A SECTION) as well as material about sex therapy (LINK TO THAT PAGE) they believe to be important.  Thanks to QueenDom.Com for spreading the word.

GREAT WOMEN'S E-ZINE!  Link to where the SEXDOC has ben asked to answer questions.  To find the Sexdoc's area, click on the ROMANCE tab and page down until you find the Sexdoc link. is the perfect place for serious entertainment. This site  offers a variety of personality, intelligence and health-related tests, plenty of  personal stories and advice columns, numerous articles on mental and  women's health and much more. If you want to learn about yourself and  grow, this is the spot for you.

A section within  The SeX-Files look deep into issues of human sexuality. Using interactive  tools, facts and insights are served up with humor and scientific vigor for the  best Sex Ed on the Web (second only to, of course).

A Treasure Trove of additional information about Human Sexuality --

GERIATRIC SEXUALITY: Link to CRESSCARE, where the Sex Doc has accepted an invitation to answer questions about the sexuality of senior citizens. If this is a current concern for you or for someone you love, please request a copy of the issue of Case Notes that featured Dr. Fitzgerald. And, if you're interested in elder care, please contact Cress Care.

Link to the web site of MEN'S HEALTH DAILY where the Sex Doc was "Ask The Sex Doc" while the site was quoting experts

Link to the web site of the Rodale Press book: SEX:  A Man's Guide

Link to the web site of GOOD VIBRATIONS, the San Francisco Bay area sex toy store (and more)

Link to the web site of ADAM AND EVE, one of the oldest mail order sex toy companies the Sexdoc knows about. Check out their Guaranteed return no-questions-asked policy.

Link to a HUGE selection of free erotic stories.  NOTE:  Some may give you nightmares.

Link to a well-written description of both straight and gay first time sex. A "must read" for anyone considering anal intercourse, and a realistic description of first time sex.

Link to the web site of the surgical procedure for CASTRATION with pictures of the real thing

Link to an interesting book about sexual fantasies

Link to PlanetOut

This web site has been up since May, 1997.

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